I recently learned someone I went to school with committed suicide. I met this person in elementary school, and we graduated high school together. I had not been in contact with this person in decades- we weren’t close in school- but I felt the loss none-the-less. I would often see her post comments on the FB pages of mutual friends, and all seemed well. If you were to take a look at her FB page-it appeared she had the “perfect” life… always traveling to some exotic locale, basking in luxury, both here and abroad. Looks can be very deceiving.
I wonder if anyone really knew what her life was like, or did they only see the glitz and glamour? No one’s life is perfect, no matter what they post on their social media pages. Did she have contact with any of her friends? Did she speak to them on a regular basis? Did they know she was in trouble and thinking of ending it all? I have no idea. I wish she would have reached out to someone, I wish they could have helped her realize her life mattered. She left behind a child that will now grow up without a mother. My heart breaks for that little one. My heart also breaks for her. How much pain must she have been in, to believe the only way out was to kill herself? She saw no other solution to her situation.
I have often wondered about suicide victims, and yes, they are “victims.” Anyone in that much pain, be it physical or mental, is a victim. Do they ever regret the decision to take their own life? That man that jumps off a bridge, does he regret it the second he steps off? Or are they so deep in anguish, that it is a welcomed relief? 
I’m sure we would like to think we all know our friends pretty well. Surely, if one of my friends were contemplating taking their own life; I’d be able to see the signs… right?! I pray that I would. As I said before, no one’s life is perfect. I’d start right there. Do you have a friend or family member that constantly posts about their “perfect” life? Maybe you should reach out to them and just touch base. Give them a call- make a real connection with them. Ask them if you can come over for a visit, just to chat, maybe over a cup of coffee. See how they’re really doing. Maybe they are doing fine, and maybe everything is “perfect”… but it’s better to see for yourself, than to take their word for it. Ask them about all aspects of their life… work, family, health, finances. I’m not saying to be all up in their business…Wait! Yes, yes I am saying that! They’re our friends, people we care about, take that extra step and find out if everything is ok. They may not be pondering suicide, but they could very well be going through a rough patch. Your act of kindness could be the one thing that brings them back from the cusp of depression. If they posted about a great trip they recently took, call them up and tell them you’d love to drop by and discuss their recent adventure. If everything they post seems too good to be true, maybe it is.
I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t always believe everything you see. Take that extra step and reach out to your friends, make sure they are doing well. If they have a history of mental illness, by all means, stay in contact with them. They need you, whether they say so or not. Have regular outings with them, meet up at the park, call them up on the phone. Be there for them! We are all in this world to take care of each other. I hope my classmate is at peace now, and I hope she knows that her life really did matter.
