This is the first in a series of health related topics. I’m writing these to help hold myself accountable and to inspire others to take a hard look at themselves. I will be documenting my journey to a healthier lifestyle in the weeks & months ahead.
Growing up, I was extremely skinny. I used to get called things like “skin & bones” … “toothpick” … “thimblebutt” … lol (that last one was what my Mom called me.)
All throughout elementary, middle & high school; my dad was on a mission to “put some meat” on my “bones.” Every summer, he’d go to GNC & buy a huge tub of weight gain powder for me. (How many of you had no idea such a thing existed?!) I had to mix it in a glass of milk & drink it with every meal. Every summer, I’d finish the entire container and not gain an ounce. Every. Single. Summer.
I can remember this one guy (who I was head over heels in love with in high school) telling me if I gained 10 pounds (or was it 20?) I could be his girlfriend! LOL! Say what?! Can you imagine being told that?
Don’t get it twisted now, even though I was skinny, I had curves. I wasn’t flat chested, and I had hips. I was just really thin. I wore size 3 jeans.
I remained super thin until the birth of our oldest. After he was born, I noticed food tasted so much better! I was hungry, I actually had an appetite- something I’d never truly had before.
All was well until around 2003-2004, when I started gaining weight. I was working in the medical field at the time. Seems like we were always having lunch catered by someone. I was eating “good” every day! If lunch wasn’t being catered, then I was going out to lunch with my co-workers. Ah, life was good, or so I thought.
After the birth of our youngest, in 2007, I was the lightest I’d been in years. I was quite pleased with myself. At the age of forty, I’d had a baby & lost all my baby weight & then some.
Then we moved to California in 2009 and I lost my mind! Not really, but I did go buck wild in the eating department. Part of it was isolation. I didn’t know anyone here, I missed my friends in Arizona, so I ate to “drown” my feelings. (I didn’t realize this at the time, but I do now).
I was dealing with a lot of “family” drama. Some things I’m still dealing with (and will blog about one day). My Mom was exhibiting early signs of Alzheimer’s, my MIL became ill, our oldest was at a new high school and struggling with ADHD, our youngest wasn’t speaking and ended up being diagnosed with a speech delay, and on & on. My stress level was through the roof! I dealt with all of this “stuff” by constantly snacking.
I haven’t even mentioned all the amazing restaurants here in the SF Bay Area. OMG! There is literally every cuisine known to man here. Whatever my heart (and tummy) desires can be found at a local restaurant … and boy did I find them!
Oh, I also started blogging AND had a food blog, can’t leave that piece of the puzzle out.
In 2015, my Mom passed away. I spent much of 2016 depressed & grieving. I also spent much of 2016 eating late night snacks of cake & ice cream. I was using food to make me feel better.
When I stepped on the scale the beginning of this year, I was shocked. I’d gained nearly 30 pounds since the death of my Mom in 2015. Thirty pounds!
But that’s not all. My cholesterol was (is) high and I was told I’m pre diabetic.
My battle of the bulge has become a matter of life & death for me. Heart disease and diabetes run in my family.
I’ve spent the past year mourning the deaths of friends and high school classmates, all gone way too soon due to scary diseases that ravaged their bodies. Each a reminder that I must do better. At the same time, each plunging me into a depressed state of mind resulting in me self medicating with food. (I’m embarrassed & ashamed to admit that last part, but the truth is going to set me free-I truly believe that).
I need to do the hard work and make serious life changes. The wheels are in motion and I’m taking all of you along for the ride. I need the accountability. If you find yourself in the same position I’m in, I hope you will join me as I fight for a healthier me.
Next up, how I’m going to do it. (I’ve already started!)
