My Mom passed away April 12, 2015. She had Alzheimer’s. I often think about the things she said & did prior to her diagnosis, wondering if there were any signs I might have missed.
I first noticed something was off during a visit in 2005. While out grocery shopping, I told her I was going to get juice one aisle over & asked her to stay with the grocery cart. I grabbed the juice and walked back to my cart. As I placed the juice in the cart, she looked at me & I could tell she was annoyed. “I’m sorry, is this your cart- I thought it was mine.” I looked at her, wondering why she’d said that. “What?!” I asked. Right at that moment, her expression changed & she started laughing, “Lynda! I didn’t recognize you!” I remember saying, “Okaaaay!”
I played it off because I didn’t want her to see how alarmed I was. When I came home, I told my family what had happened. I knew then that my Mom was probably exhibiting early signs of dementia.
Something like not recognizing your own child is pretty cut & dry. But had there been signs prior to this? Thinking back, I can say yes there were; I just didn’t pick up on it.
My Mom loved jewelry. A few years prior to the grocery shopping incident, we’d had a bit of a misunderstanding. I now know it was a symptom of Alzheimer’s that I was totally unaware of. I went over to my Mom’s house with my Tia (Aunt) & cousin, we were going to go out to eat & were picking up my Mom. When I saw her, I couldn’t help but notice a fairly large turquoise pendant on her necklace. I made a comment: “Whoa Mom, look at that bling-bling. You look like a rapper!” We all laughed, it was a joke.
Later that day, my Mom pulled me aside & said she needed to speak to me about something that was bothering her. We sat down & she said, “Earlier today you said something that kinda upset me.” I had no clue what she was referring to. “What did I say?” She then went on to explain, “You said I looked like a rapper… I’m not a rapper.” I sat there for a moment, not really knowing what to say. “Mom! It was a joke, I know you’re not a rapper!” And I started laughing. She was not amused and remained very serious. “It was a joke!” She then said “OK” and started talking about something else.
I remember relaying the conversation to my cousin, and we both laughed about it. Back then, I couldn’t understand why she’d been so offended or taken my joke so literally. I know now.
Alzheimer’s doesn’t just affect memory, it changes a person’s personality. Oftentimes, their sense of humor is the first to change. They may take things very literally, or not get the joke at all. They might become upset with someone telling a joke, thinking they are being verbally attacked. I’ve seen this in others suffering from Alzheimer’s.
Maybe if I’d have known my Mom’s change in humor was actually a red flag, we could’ve contacted a doctor sooner & had her checked out. Maybe they could have started her on meds sooner. I don’t know if it would’ve made a difference or not & I’ll never know.
Please pay attention to your loved ones, if someone you know is exhibiting a change in personality or their sense of humor-make an appointment for them to be checked out by a doctor. They may be in the early stages of Alzheimer’s & early detection is key to receiving proper treatment.
Photo credit: thebouqs.com
