I’m a survivor of abuse. What kind of abuse? I’ve experienced verbal, emotional, mental, physical, spiritual abuse … and more. Most days, I think I’m pretty much over it. I mean I can function day to day; if I didn’t tell you I was a victim of abuse you probably wouldn’t know. But then there are days where I realize just how much all that abuse has impacted me.
Those days are filled with self-doubt. I can hear the voices of my abusers in my head, telling me I’m not good enough. It usually happens when I’m thinking about trying something new. “What makes you think you can do that? You know you have no business doing that. You CAN’T do that, you’re going to fail.”
Abuse
I’m ashamed to admit, but many times I’ve let those voices win. I let them take me back to a time where everything I did & said was controlled by someone else. Back then, I had no voice of my own. I was constantly told I was worthless. I was told I would never be as smart as my abuser. My every move was dictated to me:
- what I ate
- when I ate
- how much I ate
- what I wore
- how my hair was styled
- when I would cut it
- what time I went to bed
- what time I woke up
- who I could & could not talk to
- what I could & could not do
- and so much more
My entire life was controlled by someone else.
I have so many horror stories I could share with you. Maybe one day I will. But today I want to focus on the voices. I know I’m not alone, and that’s the reason I’m writing this. SOMEONE NEEDS TO READ THIS. If you’re here, please know it’s not by chance. You’re supposed to read this; you were led here by a higher power.
I began this by stating I’m a Survivor of Abuse.
Survivor
As a survivor, I need to stand up to the voices of past abuse. We need to stand up. I cannot continue to let my abusers have any control over my life, that includes my thoughts. You & I have to do everything in our power to rebuke the lies of our abusers. Yes, they hurt us. That’s in the past-we cannot let past abuse cripple us. We have to be aware of what’s going on in our minds. Ignore those voices telling you you’re not good enough, or smart enough. YOU ARE WORTHY! YOU ARE ENOUGH! You’ve always been capable of doing big & mighty things.
Love yourself – and allow others to love you. Do those things you’ve been putting off because you don’t think you can do them. WE ARE ALL WORTHY. We are capable of doing so much more than we give ourselves credit for. Tell those voices in your head to shut up!
Because of my past abuse, I have a desire to help others. I know what it’s like to feel trapped, with no place and no one to turn to for assistance. Please know you are not alone.
I want to thank my tight circle of friends who constantly show up for me when I most need them. Thank you for lifting me up when I’m down, for filling me with confidence & for always giving me the courage to keep pushing. You inspire me in ways you’ll never fully grasp. I pray I’m able to do the same in return.
It’s time we take back our lives, and tell those voices to go to hell.
